The diary of Puck
by Without.The.Rain
Summary: Drabbles inspired from a random word generator, Puck centric with mostly Pinn hints. Also mentions of Puck/Santana and Quick. Written from Puck's POV, like a diary entre. Rated M to be safe, though not all chapters will be M content. Read AN inside.
1. Awarding

**A series of drabbles based from a random word generator, which is Puck centric. It will be Puck's POV throughout the whole thing and written like a diary entre. Will contain fluff, swearing, and mentions of sex. Also will have mentions of bullying and homophobia at the start. Will also contain scenes for everyone Puck dated in season one and maybe season two.**

**It also starts from Puck's POV from the very first episode and will follow on as so.**

**Episode one – Pilot.**

**Awarding.**

**Puck's POV.**

Glee club sucks.

It's full of weirdo's with no social status and no friends who wet their panties singing show tunes and dancing around like fairies.

Only the lord knows why Finn is staying. Maybe that crazy girl with the big beak is spreading her legs for him or something. He doesn't get much action, even with a girl. That's what you get for dating the queen of the chastity ball. I doubt the little freak is though. I see her in temple when I go with my Nana sometimes and she doesn't seem like the type of girl.

Then again, nether did Quinn…

Anyway, back on topic of how gay Glee club is.

Seriously, I can't believe Finn would want anything to do with that. Maybe he is gay…Probably not though. He does have his girl moments but he wouldn't be able to hide it from me. Like that Hummel kid. Can't he take a hint? Finn isn't interested, yet I still catch him gawking at Finn in Maths (when I show up) like he's spitting out rainbows from his ass and turning different shades of blue. I mean, fuck off already, you got no chance! Can't he stop it and go let some other queer bang him?

I've trailed off, again, but what every, it don't matter.

Today, after Finn finally left the dancing band of fags and freaks, me and the guys had grabbed a welcome back present for him. You know, like a 'welcome back to the land of the normal' sort of thing. This Kid, I can't remember his name, he's just a nerd, so it's not worth remembering, we shoved him in a port-a-potty and we were gonna flip it. I mean, the kid's already in a wheelchair, so nothing serious was gonna happen.

But then Finn shot me this disapproving look, then called us loser, which kind of stung a bit. I'm a badass though, so it's nothing really, not like I'm gonna storm off and cry like that Rachel(?) would do.

So, after Finn stormed off, I caught up with him. We had a bit of an argument about how gay Glee club was and how it was gonna bring down my rep as a badass if my best mate started singing show tunes and shit. Then he started going on about how happy he felt when in Glee and all that girly crap.

Finally, I gave up and told him if he wants to catch some freakish disease off one of them, then that's up to him. He shot me another disapproving look before muttering about going to that stupid fairy club.

'Cus the twat had gone to Glee, it left me with fuck all to do, so after five minutes I wondered up to the auditorium.

Finn was down on the stage with the rest of the freaks and that wired Jewish girl from my temple and they were singing '_Don't Stop Believing'_, which was a crappy song, but at least it wasn't show tunes.

That when I saw the smile on his face. I hadn't seen that smile since Junior school and it kinda made me feel…miserable. Nether of us had smiled that much in years and I realized I missed it.

I missed the day's were me and Finn were as close as brothers. The days before I had to go out and get a job and the whole MILF started. Back before the only thing I was interested in other then football was chasing skirt.

I mean, I know it sounds kinda gay and shit, but, it didn't make me any less badass to miss seeing my best friend happy.

So, as I watched him sing with the crazy chick, I though that, even though Glee club sucked. Even though it was full of fags and social rejects. If that was what made my boy happy, I'd let him have it.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed that. Do you want more?<strong>


	2. Intoxicate

Puck/Santana are in this story with mentions of Rachel.

Contains swearing and mentions of sex.

Inspired by the word Intoxicate.

Episode two – Showromance.

It's kinda ironic really. I'm a member of the celibacy club, but I have a reputation for being the biggest stud at McKinley high.

I only did it 'cus of my mom. She's really big on being a Jew and I don't wanna let her down or anything. I mean, it's fucking annoying when she gets into a rut and starts crying every other hour. Seriously, I'd rather go back to Science and be stuck next to the wired kid with the JewFro then see my mom cry.

It's the same for me and Santana. We're a lot alike. We both think in similar way and have the same messed up concept of morals and shit.

That's why we started going out for. It's just sex with no strings. Neither of us wanted the whole drama of being a real couple and shit. We're both the hottest people in school, so it was only logical we be together. Like Finn and Quinn. He's the football caption and quaterback and she's head cheerleader. Perfect match.

But, perfect matches aren't always what the seem. I mean, a couple may look cheerful on the outside, like playing happy families and shit. But it's all fact. Just like mine and Santana's relationship.

Personality wise, we can't stand each other.

I could go into a whole psychological debate about how she reminds me of me too much and it forces me to see what I'm like to other people, but I don't need all that crap to simply say she is a grade A bitch.

She is the most possessive, selfish, venomous bitch I know. If it wasn't for the fact that she was fucking hot in the bedroom, I'd of dumped her ass by now.

So, yeah, back to my point about the celibacy club, the other reason I joined was because Finn kept shooting me puppy dog eye's. My mom had been a factor, but she never directly asked me to join. I don't even think she knew about it to be honest…

Still, though, even though Santana is a bitch, she has her moments.

I remember back in freshman year, I got in an argument with her boyfriend at the time, who was a junior. He had called me a waste of space, or some rubbish like that. He went home with three broken fingers and a bloody nose that day.

So, even if she is possessive, controlling, self-centred, egotistical and way too concerned about being popular, she is probably one of the most loyal people I know…In a wired, Santanaish kind of way.

That Rachel girl, she came to the club and then told everybody that girls wanted it just as much as guys, which was pretty cool. A week later I got caught up on my science work and was forced to work with Rachel to help me with it. Surprisingly though, it didn't suck as bad as I thought. I mean, she talks a lot but you learn to block it out.

For some reason she called me smart, she probably wanted to sleep with me or something. Still though, as she helped, I stopped Slushieing her. I didn't stop anyone else, 'cus that would upset the whole balance of like, dorks and jocks and shit.

She did notice it though, which was kinda cool. Then she asked me why I was dating a slut like Santana.

Then next day I made sure to pour tomato ketchup in with her daily slushie.

Nobody gets away with calling my girl a slut.


	3. Sexuality

**Acafellas**

**Sexuality.**

It's all Mr. Schuester fault really.

I mean, I've always known who I am. I'm a stud, a badass, one of the sexiest guys at McKinley, probably in all of Ohio, Lima in fact. I'm the ruler of the school.

Principle Figgin's probably thinks he's top dog 'cus he's got all these fancy degrees and 'cus he's old and shit, but it's us who rule the school. We decide what's cool and what isn't, we choose whose gonna be freaks for the rest of their high school careers and even their lives. The second you walk in those doors, you are marked, branded and practically given a transcript of what the next four years of your life is gonna be life.

I knew mine. Knew it off by heart. I'm meant to go on a conquest of girls long in to my Junior year. Bang a few chicks, even more MILF's, build up my repute of being the school stud and kick some more kids' asses. Then when junior year rolls around, I'm supposed to find a girl worth my time and sort my self out. Get my grades up and shit. I mean, people are always telling you to enjoy your childhood and teens and shit, I'm doing just that. It still pisses me off when they tell you to work hard and shit…that crap isn't happening yet.

So, yeah, I had it planned out and all that shit. Contrary to popular belief, just 'cus I'm a jock and hot, doesn't mean I'm a dumbass.

So, back to why Mr. Schuester is a fucking conniving bastard. I mean, he probably did plan it, he seems like the type of guy. My guess is he wanted revenge for me farting in the locker room.

Me and Finn joined this band called Acafellas. It's not like Glee though, 'cus the song we sang was all 'bout sex and stuff, so it's not like I'm one of those little fairies.

When I was up on stage, singing and dancing and making that bitchy head of the cheerio's go brought red I relieved how carefree I felt. I mean, not like in a wired gay way, were I'm suddenly going to be waving around pam-pams and shit, rejoicing about how amazing it is to sing on stage or any shit like that.

I just felt…Like myself.

When in school, I've got to keep up the part I've been hired to play, you know? The tough dude with the Mohawk who gets all the hot action and shit. If people suddenly found out I was into dancing and all that gay shit like that, I'd be castrated or something. I couldn't risk it.

I mean, I'm a badass and shit, but at the end of the day, being bullied and made fun of isn't something I'd seek out. That's why Glee club isn't an option. Even if my best bud was always going on about how great it is. Well, how great it was until that crazy Rachel chick ridiculed Schues dancing and he buggered off to join Acafellas.

Still though, the fact I actually enjoyed the dancing and the singing and all that isn't why I'm pissed at Schue and feel like TPing his house or something.

When we performed, we were made to wear suits. That was fine, I'm not self-conscious or anything like that. I can happily walk down the corridors butt naked and still strut my stuff. With all the girls that would be gawking at me and the guys who would kill to have a body and dick like mine aside of course. It's the way the good lord made me. Damn was I thankful for the body he blessed me with. Women look up at me like I'm some Jewish God or something, then again I am just that awesome.

Well, anyway, back to the whole planning to kill Mr. Schuester business.

We were up on stage. Me, Finn, Tanaka, our football coach, Mr. Schuester and that Sandy guy, who I made sure to avoid. Now that man is the definition of freak. One day he followed me to the restroom and tried putting his hands down the back of my pants. I kneed him in the balls and gave him a black eye, which I'm sure taught him a lesson.

So, I had just sang my part, right? I made that woman that Quinn looked up to so much go as red as a tomato and managed to woo some of the ladies, which was my main goal. We did a few cool dance moves and then it was Finn's turn.

He's not the best dancer in the world. I know that. A newborn giraffe probably has better dance moves them him. Still, though. It was his voice that had caught my attention. I mean, I've heard him sing and shit before, you know. Like, I've walked past when he's in the shower and sing and he's using his soup as a microphone, which at times makes me embarrassed to know him.

His voice, though. I don't know what it was about it. But as I listened to him sing and dance, I watched all the multi-coloured lights bounce off his face and shit.

I don't know how to say it with out sounding all girly and shit, but that's the problem though! Half way though I realized I had a semi-boner!

I don't know what to be more freaked out about. That I was getting hard watching Finn flap his arms around like a wounded seagull, that it could mean I was gay, or bi or what ever! Or that I could even possible, even in the darkest corners of my mind be attracted to Finn fucking Hudson.

This is why Mr. Schuester needs to be shot. I swear this is all his fault.


	4. Sensitivity

**Puck's voice is a bit different then what it was in the first three, but that's because of what happens. Also, how he changes as a person, the voice of Puck will change too. **

**Sensitivity.**

**Episode four – preggers.**

I'm not a sensitive person, my mom's told me it thousands of times, told me I need to learn to keep my mouth shut before it gets me in serious trouble. Well guess what; it has.

Maybe if I could control the filter that connected my mouth and dick to my brain, I wouldn't be buried waist deep in crap. I've always been impulsive, it's one of the reasons I'm a fucking badass. Even though most girls won't say it, they want somebody that will excite them, they want a thrill, to feel like a bad girl and I'm the perfect person for the job. But as I stood in the middle of the hall after hearing those two words from Finn, regret swimming around my gut, I know I had been a fucking idiot.

I don't regret Quinn getting preggers, I mean, sure, I'm not ready to be a father, but I'm still a badass, I can deal with it, I can pull through for her and the kid. I needed to prove to my mom that I wouldn't be a dead beat like my old man. That I'd never leave my kid and the baby mommy.

I do regret doing this to Finn though. Finn's my man, my bro, has been since we were six years old and now his girlfriend was pregnant with my kid...how fucked up is that?

Finn aside, I still had to confront Quinn about this and find out what we were going to do, if we were going to tell him.

It had taken me ages to finally track her down, some of the jocks sent me strange looks 'cause I kept asking if anybody had seen my best man's girl.

I found her walking down the hall in a daze and it wasn't long before she grabbed me out of the spotlight, trying to avoid anyone finding out.

Like I had said before, I've never been sensitive to people, and I've never been the type to be affected when people insult me. It just wasn't me, I knew who I was and nobody could tell me different.

Quinn though, she had managed to hit a soft spot.

The day my dad left, I had made a promise. I promised myself I would never become a dead beat like him, somebody who just wallowed at home, have his own private pity party, unemployed and drunk. I vowed I would always have a job to support my family, no matter what that job was, as long as it brought in money.

That's why the whole pool cleaning business started. I wasn't good at many things, playing the guitar, singing and sex are about the only things I can do well. So I put it to my advantage. First I had had just started singing in the town for money, then somebody had said something to me, about a woman paying him to sleep with him.

That's when I started the pool cleaning business, it was just a cover up so if the coppers every found out. It hadn't bothered me at first, hell; I was getting paid to bang so hot chicks, why would I complain. I then became the school stud by the guys and some woman. I was the female version of Santana, just a whore, but I couldn't let anyone see it bothered me.

They wouldn't have understood. My mom needed the money, since my dad had run of with all their saving. But they don't need to know that anyway, it's not like it's any of their fucking business.

I had told her I would get the money, but she refused to listen, told me i was a dead beat, like my dad before she ran off.

I had been pissed for the entire day, a few nerds had found that out the hard way.

When I got home, mother was there; the school had obviously called her and told her about my behaviour. She didn't yell at me, didn't scream or cry or anything, she just opened her arms and I fell into her, burring my face in her shoulder.

Funny really, I'm the fucking badest dude at Mckinly and here i was, fucking crying into my mom's shoulder over something some girl had said to me.

"What did you do?" She whispered after she had guided me on to the sofa; it was the first thing she had said to me in over a week.

I couldn't form a sentence, so just whispered 'Quinn.' She knew, it had only taken a second. Mom knew I liked Quinn, like, a lot. And she knew of my reputation at McKinley for being a bit of a slut, but not about the MILF's. I couldn't tell her that, she would hate herself.

"You got her pregnant, didn't you?"

I stared down at her and I could see the disappointment in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, mom." I whispered.

She sighed before muttering "You always are, Noah."

And in that instant I knew I had to change. I had to change for my little sister, she needed a better male modal in her life. I had to change for my mom, she had been through so much already, I had to change for Quinn and our baby and most importantly, i had to change for Finn.

**Hope you liked, remember to review plz.**


	5. Pornographic

Contains; threesome, Puck/April/Matt and Puck/Matt, swearing.

**Episode five - The Rhodes Not Taken**

**Pornographic**

I've been watching porn since I was about thirteen years old and been having sex since I was fourteen. The first time I slept with somebody it was at a party. She was sixteen and had a friggin tongue ring and everything! It was so hot! We both got drunk and did it on Karofsky's bed, something I rubbed in his face the next day.

Even though I've been aware of sex for three years now, I've never actually looked at gay porn. I mean, what reason did I have to? I'm Puckzilla, The Puckotron, I'm not meant to have a sexual crisis, I'm not meant to have this sudden desire to want to be more than friends with Finn, and I'm _not_ meant to want to watch gay porn, let alone be part of it.

So here I am, in the shower with some hot chick who's like forty years old. I'm cool with that though, 'cause the older the better some times. More experienced, and high school chicks aren't that attractive. The only girl that i ever really had fun sleeping with was Quinn, and that's saying something, considering she's a virgin and shit. Its just all messed up.

I'm with Matt too, and he's a bit weird, with the whole mute thing, but damn. I've seen him naked before, like passing by in the locker room and shit, but I've never really paid attention to him. He's got abs I kill for and his cock is almost the same size as mine – almost. April though, shes keeps telling me she wants a threesome with another guy, which I was up for, but then she said she wants me to be in the middle, which, yeah, I'm not into.

I mean, I'm not gay. I can't be, I don't like fashion, or pink, or Broadway, or any of that girly shit like Hummel's in to.

So, yeah, I'm not gay.

So what if I sucked off Matt? That doesn't make me gay, just a badass 'cause I', willing to do that crazy shit to please my girl.

I was only moaning when Matt slid his fingers in to keep her happy, and I only started begging Matt to fuck me while she twisted the vibrator around because I was putting on a show. I mean, when it comes to sex, I'm a pretty good actor. I had done lots of role playing before.

Just because I had sex with another man doesn't mean I'm gay, just that I'm a badass and a stud. And I didn't really enjoy it...I was just doing that for her sake and the reason I got an erection was because she was in the corner fingering herself.

No other reason, no other possible reason. Nope. None. Nothing...

I didn't really enjoy sleeping with Matt, my feeling for Finn is just some mixed up shit and I didn't watch gay porn, imagining it was me and Finn the next day. And I most _defiantly_ didn't find Finn hot in his cowboy outfit, then let Matt bend me over Schues desk (my ravage for him starting this mess) and fuck me again to get rid of my new boner...

Nope.

That will never happen...

Shit!

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I need to snap out of this shit!

The next day I told Matt to keep his mouth shut, that it never happened.

Because It didn't.

Fuck, I can't be gay!


	6. Black

**Contains; sex, underage drinking, strangulation during sex and a bit of violence and OC having sex with minor.**

**Episode six - Vitamin D**

**Black.**

I've been high before, which, I think considering I'm a badass, you'd expect it. So when Finn gave us those vitamin D tablets, the second I felt the effects of it, I knew it was like E or LSD, or some shit like that.

So me being the brilliant thief I am, stole some from the new nurses office, and for a fat chick, Mrs. Schuster's sort of hot.

I got Finn over and we both had some, and then spent ages massacring each other on Halo and COD before we started wrestling. I was totally whipping his ass, even though he'd denial it. In the end I let the bastard win, 'cause I felt sorry for his pathetic ass, so I let him pin me.

That's when everything went to hell.

He was looming over me, straddling me waist and holding my hands above my head, so you couldn't really blame me for getting...thoughts.

I felt my face grow hot when he jumped as my boner poked him in the thigh. He looked at me in confusion, and i took the chance to lift myself up, resting on my elbows.

Then he kissed me.

It wasn't like kissing most of the girls I've kissed. They were always soft and tender, he was overpowering and demanding. I wasn't gonna let anybody overpower me though, so i quickly rolled us over, so i was on top.

In a panic though, he pushed me away and jumped up like the floor was on fire.

He started rambling, saying he can't be gay. We can't be gay. That he had Quinn. I heard the slip up though. He was going to say Rachel.

I'm a badass right, but don't get me wrong, hearing that little slip up hurt. That meant even if he and Quinn broke up, I still didn't have a chance. Because I'm a guy and Finn isn't into guys.

I listened to the sound of him driving away, and after a few seconds got up and stormed out.

I drove around for a while, trying to sort everything out before stopping at a bar. None of them know who I am, and they don't ask for ID ether, so I order one drink after the next. Then by the time I'm past tipsy, some man approaches me.

He's pretty friendly, and keeps putting his hand on my lower back, and if I wasn't drunk, I probably would have minded. I soon find myself confessing a whole lot of shit to him, like how maybe I was gay, maybe, I did like Finn as more than a friend, and maybe I really did enjoy sleeping with Matt. Like, a lot.

Then the next thing I know he's got me tied up to his bed, his hands wondering every curve of my body before his fingers stretch me open. The whole time I keep my eyes closed, images of Finn in my head. His hand playing with my nipple ring, his fingers teasing me, his cock buried inside of me.

I shouldn't have been doing it really. I was drunk though. I didn't know any better.

When I came, I accidently screamed Finns name.

Tony, whose name I had only found out when we arrived at his house, wasn't too pleased by this. If the sudden sting in my check was any indication of that.

I couldn't help it, I started panicking. I was tied up on some stranger's bed, who was about fifteen years older than me, completely naked, and now he was pissed off with me.

Then his hand was around my neck, keeping me still as he continued to work himself in and out of my body. I wasn't okay with strangulation. It's fucked up in my option.

So I started struggling even more, which ended me up with another hit. I didn't cry. I'm too much of a badass for that, but the sting on my check and the pressure on my neck hurt like a bitch. I was fine with having sex with an shit, I mean, i hadn't protested when we first started fucking, but the whole being strangled thing...not my type of shit, I mean, i may be messed up, by fuck, that's just freaky.

My vision was going blurry and then I passed out.

I woke up the next day with him crashed out next to me and in an instant I was on my feet, grabbing my clothes. Before I left he woke up and spotted me, then said there was money on the table.

I didn't want to pick it up. I wasn't really a whore, even with the pool cleaning...but my mom needed it so badly. I had to.

It was seven o'clock in the morning when I got home, and thankfully my mom was still asleep. I grabbed some pain killers from the top shelf and then swallowed down a vitamin D tablet. I was so fucking exhausted after last night.

I had come to a conclusion though. I wasn't going to sleep with guys anymore. Or even strangers, for that matter. Its just all too fucked up.


End file.
